This is a piece of humor.
I am told I have a penchant for glamorizing the mundane, and being able to complicate simple things.
My dad, working as an auditor now, having tallied BS and ledgers all his, says that it is always the simple things that are potentially brilliant, at least in the world of accounting.
I cant take names, but it seems a leading apparel, company famed for giving mind boggling discounts, (70 to 80%) off, did a simple way of showing itself bankrupt, even though the auditors knew it had a bundle , they could do nothing about it.
My dad rounds off, wryly saying” They have a sale even now, its showroom is right next to my office, its always packed”, and they say there are no sales happening.
And on paper it’s true.
Anyways this is digressing; I got to do justice to the title.
Well, an acquaintance of mine, is into a bit of money, and he hasn’t seen much of it .So off he goes, shopping to get rid of his sons of soil image. In pops a ray ban, a shirt and jean which would get 4 of my types of shirt and jeans, and for shoes make it 5 of my types. No question about the quality of the cloth or material, it is excellent, in isolation, individually excellent.
Now I will painstakingly (and vividly too, I hope!) describe the collective part of it. The jean is a blue/green hue with some kind of washing on its front and side (the worn of part, which is what makes it smooth to touch).Now my limited sense of fashion does tell me that there are not a frightful lot of combinations you can pair this jean with. He, however pairs it with an electric green shirt (it is Zodiac Classic limited edition….. I think), with bright green and white stripes, the wide stripes. Now the belt, it is brown with some sequins or glitterati.
At least the shoes match with the belt, they are again brown, but can’t do much to salvage the fashion disaster which he has just become.
Hell, I forgot the Ray Ban, they are again, green with gold rims, the oversized variety.
Visualize this short, slightly plump guy,(the picture of good lving) with a blue/green hued jean, a full shirt with and electric green and white wide stripes. A brown belt which throws some flashes of light at you as he moves around and a brown pair of shoes.
The coup de grace is the gold rimmed oversized green hued Ray Bans.
Overall he looked like a cross between a giant leprechaun and a human. I guess the gold he had on him gave him the feel of a leprechaun (green and gold)., and mabe the picture of good living too.
“How do I look?!” this is the million dollar question, and very, very gender specific!!! You are trapped whatever you answer.
At this point I got the title of the post in my head, which I willingly shared with him……….and I take the liberty of sharing, with you all too!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Second Lieutenant !!
This is a piece of humor.
Short cropped hair, and weight just a kilo short of being classified as an overweight, and a rajput style moustache(Took lot of twirls to get it up !), i seemed to be looking as a picture of good living
A nice pair of goggles, (aviator style of course), and clad in jacket (uncharacteristic, but it is kind of chilly in Delhi, these days), I was waiting near Regal, to catch up with a school friend of mine.
Everybody has tied the knot that much I could understand, but she has a kid as well...! Suddenly I felt old, very old...but I was looking forward to meeting her, she was one of the few people who I bumped in BCL sporadically.
She walks in, and immediately recognizes me....for a mother she looks remarkably great...and I said" damm it you look great...very pretty...!!
Your attempt at diplomacy is not really great Srikant...but humor seems to be fine !
I do not need to diplomatic with you...I retorted, with a smile...!!
Chuck coffee (I was in no moods for a royal phatka !)...let’s take a walk around, the weather is good. We made it to the open grassy space on top of Palika, and started reminiscing.
In walks, a punter policeman, a new recruit(just guessing here!), and looks at the couple(us).Immediately adopting the moral policing standard he walks with a gruff and menacing expression on his face...and uses some .........let’s say Delhi words.
Not wanting to pick up a fight I just ignored...but he increased the decibel. Something snapped inside me, I stood up , jutted my chest out and said “Second Lt Srikant Rajan, 12 Rajputana Rifles, OTA Chennai...and that is my fiancée..., then for good measure in Hindi...your name, rank, commanding officer and taluka"
Balle Balle ho gayi...!!
Sorry sir, really sorry.....galti ho gayi...he almost made it to my feet...but I stepped back…… I wasn’t sure if I would be able could contain my laughter...I just said....Dharamveer... aise parehan mat karo ...
Hearing his name, he gave a startled response, but I continued staring at his chest...on his name plate. His eyes caught my gaze, then almost in tears, he said....Sir, strict orders against couples here...there have been some cases here...and hum to bas apna kaam kar rahe they...but you can sit here sir...no problem.
But I had..., if punter got bada officer… the roles of me and punter would be reversed.
Ok, we will leave in a few minutes....ab aap jao yahan se.
Ok sire, bilkul sir…
The lady stared, and thankfully had a neutral expression…… I said in low tones we leave in 5 minutes, she nodded….
30 minutes later …in a CCD… (Pretty far from Palika !), Lady ji remarks…” That was wild ….but it was fun too...!”
If the babu was around the punter….it would have been hilarious…madam…!! And someone else would be having the fun part, I added wryly.
Journey back home, I walked a bit and then took the metro from Barakhamba Road, and adopted a clean shaven look :):)
Short cropped hair, and weight just a kilo short of being classified as an overweight, and a rajput style moustache(Took lot of twirls to get it up !), i seemed to be looking as a picture of good living
A nice pair of goggles, (aviator style of course), and clad in jacket (uncharacteristic, but it is kind of chilly in Delhi, these days), I was waiting near Regal, to catch up with a school friend of mine.
Everybody has tied the knot that much I could understand, but she has a kid as well...! Suddenly I felt old, very old...but I was looking forward to meeting her, she was one of the few people who I bumped in BCL sporadically.
She walks in, and immediately recognizes me....for a mother she looks remarkably great...and I said" damm it you look great...very pretty...!!
Your attempt at diplomacy is not really great Srikant...but humor seems to be fine !
I do not need to diplomatic with you...I retorted, with a smile...!!
Chuck coffee (I was in no moods for a royal phatka !)...let’s take a walk around, the weather is good. We made it to the open grassy space on top of Palika, and started reminiscing.
In walks, a punter policeman, a new recruit(just guessing here!), and looks at the couple(us).Immediately adopting the moral policing standard he walks with a gruff and menacing expression on his face...and uses some .........let’s say Delhi words.
Not wanting to pick up a fight I just ignored...but he increased the decibel. Something snapped inside me, I stood up , jutted my chest out and said “Second Lt Srikant Rajan, 12 Rajputana Rifles, OTA Chennai...and that is my fiancée..., then for good measure in Hindi...your name, rank, commanding officer and taluka"
Balle Balle ho gayi...!!
Sorry sir, really sorry.....galti ho gayi...he almost made it to my feet...but I stepped back…… I wasn’t sure if I would be able could contain my laughter...I just said....Dharamveer... aise parehan mat karo ...
Hearing his name, he gave a startled response, but I continued staring at his chest...on his name plate. His eyes caught my gaze, then almost in tears, he said....Sir, strict orders against couples here...there have been some cases here...and hum to bas apna kaam kar rahe they...but you can sit here sir...no problem.
But I had..., if punter got bada officer… the roles of me and punter would be reversed.
Ok, we will leave in a few minutes....ab aap jao yahan se.
Ok sire, bilkul sir…
The lady stared, and thankfully had a neutral expression…… I said in low tones we leave in 5 minutes, she nodded….
30 minutes later …in a CCD… (Pretty far from Palika !), Lady ji remarks…” That was wild ….but it was fun too...!”
If the babu was around the punter….it would have been hilarious…madam…!! And someone else would be having the fun part, I added wryly.
Journey back home, I walked a bit and then took the metro from Barakhamba Road, and adopted a clean shaven look :):)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Fag Time...Not quite :)
It was a ding time, a very ding time indeed.
This happened during my time in Chennai, pretty recently. Most of my team mates, corrections rather the entire office seemed to be surviving on a diet of smokes and coffee. Every hour, damm it, every hour they needed a fix, for good living or for leisure or for habit(or all !!). I on the other hand had earned the nickname of Biscuit man (quite an improvement over banana, I think).
Anyways, I had never smoked ever. I had drunk like a fish and retched horribly, and snorted straight through the nose...but no smoke, ever.
Chalo yeh kasar bhi poori kar deten hain, as krishna would have told, try it once gurudev.
In enter a post lunch walkathon from Sangeeta to my room. I stopped by the Pan shop.
A Wills light I said the …….first thing that came to my mind.
The panwadi gave me a stick, I smelled it, and then reached for the matches, keeping a mask of good living on my face.
Darn my fingers started trembling; the guy gave me a curious look, but did not say anything.I balled my fingers into a fist to steady myself, and made to reach for a light ....then,I started shaking pretty bad, almost shivering.
Darn it Rajan Steady……. you can do it, and you can leave it too!!
But something told me that this time it won’t be that easy, I kept the cigarette down on the counter and stared into the open space for some time. Now the panwadi was staring at me intently, or rather for some curious reason my fingernails.
I returned his gaze and ……..
He shook his head, as I reached for the smoke again, he snatched it and said in Tamil, I won’t give it sir, please go from here"
That firmness……. That ignition…… That anger…… of that guy seemed to stir something in me. He has no stake in my welfare, none indeed.
The moment passed by..........the crack in the wall resealed itself; the demon is still in the cage,
Dong !!
But yeah the cookies remain ......anyone for cookies? Ding dong indeeed :)
This happened during my time in Chennai, pretty recently. Most of my team mates, corrections rather the entire office seemed to be surviving on a diet of smokes and coffee. Every hour, damm it, every hour they needed a fix, for good living or for leisure or for habit(or all !!). I on the other hand had earned the nickname of Biscuit man (quite an improvement over banana, I think).
Anyways, I had never smoked ever. I had drunk like a fish and retched horribly, and snorted straight through the nose...but no smoke, ever.
Chalo yeh kasar bhi poori kar deten hain, as krishna would have told, try it once gurudev.
In enter a post lunch walkathon from Sangeeta to my room. I stopped by the Pan shop.
A Wills light I said the …….first thing that came to my mind.
The panwadi gave me a stick, I smelled it, and then reached for the matches, keeping a mask of good living on my face.
Darn my fingers started trembling; the guy gave me a curious look, but did not say anything.I balled my fingers into a fist to steady myself, and made to reach for a light ....then,I started shaking pretty bad, almost shivering.
Darn it Rajan Steady……. you can do it, and you can leave it too!!
But something told me that this time it won’t be that easy, I kept the cigarette down on the counter and stared into the open space for some time. Now the panwadi was staring at me intently, or rather for some curious reason my fingernails.
I returned his gaze and ……..
He shook his head, as I reached for the smoke again, he snatched it and said in Tamil, I won’t give it sir, please go from here"
That firmness……. That ignition…… That anger…… of that guy seemed to stir something in me. He has no stake in my welfare, none indeed.
The moment passed by..........the crack in the wall resealed itself; the demon is still in the cage,
Dong !!
But yeah the cookies remain ......anyone for cookies? Ding dong indeeed :)
Friday, September 10, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)