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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Institutionalizing the Art of Helping

Look around, these days there is always help available. Oh corrections, modern colloquialism dictates that I use the word counseling/coaching, for “help” by its very nature seems to indicate a diminished self capability.

A kid is born ……………hallelujah!!!


The celebrations over the first couple of years rush by in a haze of dirty nappies and now, he has to go to a school. Admissions are not so easy, so in step coaching to guide the child in the form of preschools. Thanks to my humongous memory I remember my pre-school and school days as times where I just ate (and ate I used to have 5 meals a day ,  morning breakfast, school lunch, back home another lunch, evening snack and dinner, courtesy amma) , played and slept.

Now preschools are no longer about kids having fun, even if it is having fun it is always with an intent to cram in some statistic in the kid, to prepare for an interview (kids giving an interview , they are still shitting their pants and they are expected to know the name of the president of India !).

Pre-schools proudly show their success rate in getting admission to “convent” schools. Convent, again a remnant of our colonial mentality, I regret not having gone to a government school, but I kind of made it up in graduation, (unintentionally though).

Ok, school is in now. Now the harried mom needs to unwind, after all a 3-4 year gap in life has to be compensated. So she takes up her life hopefully where she left it, obviously there is less time now for the kid.

Fear not, tuitions are available.

Tuitions and school make up a major part of a kids life. Soon he enters into high school. Now tuitions won’t do pal, you need coaching. Specialized coaching granting you a chance at elitism (read engineering and medical).It is really a pity that the options that are considered good socially, are of a binary nature.

Coaching is now done; outcome is now derived, elite or otherwise. Now, studies have to be continued, and of course it is all so tough. Having been through a prop at each stage the kid (ok, a grown up), now finds it hard to walk without crutches. He sends an SOS home, “I want to leave this place “.

Parents get all harried….. They look up………. and look down…………….wondering if it is in heaven………… or is in hell ..........the dam elusive solutionel.(Scarlet Pimpernel love the sing-song of it !).

Someone is found who can give coaching at engineering level too. I came to know about it in Mumbai, for I saw a card that read, “Specializing in thermal engineering for all engineering students”.

Come on, coaching at engineering level, you are undermining the value of the course, of course with engineering colleges mushrooming all around, is also adding fuel to the fire.

What would engineers do when they realize that a bridge can’t take the load it has been designed for, or the material ordered is adding a tad bit more weight to the assembly, or there is a last minute design change that may just work? Go figure.

It’s coaching all the way, all to the point of entering an organization. Thankfully you don’t have coaching for carrying on your regular work, here of course training is there, (courtesy generous HR budgets!) Finally it is time to find your own path, your own way and throw off those crutches.

PS – I am not undermining the importance of support in life. I am merely highlighting that we have conditioned our self to rely on props for support and institutionalized the art of helping.I am one of the above cycle, having gone to coaching institutes all the while, thinking that it is a magic wand for all worries.
 

I realized pretty late, that the best things in life are learnt by oneself, nobody can teach it to you !


Finally, it is curious to know that while I was typing this away, an acquaintance(Gtalk!) suggested that I put something similar to this here on the blog