Fag Time...Not quite :)

It was a ding time, a very ding time indeed.

This happened during my time in Chennai, pretty recently. Most of my team mates, corrections rather the entire office seemed to be surviving on a diet of smokes and coffee. Every hour, damm it, every hour they needed a fix, for good living or for leisure or for habit(or all !!). I on the other hand had earned the nickname of Biscuit man (quite an improvement over banana, I think).

Anyways, I had never smoked ever. I had drunk like a fish and retched horribly, and snorted straight through the nose...but no smoke, ever.

Chalo yeh kasar bhi poori kar deten hain, as krishna would have told, try it once gurudev.

In enter a post lunch walkathon from Sangeeta to my room. I stopped by the Pan shop.

A Wills light I said the …….first thing that came to my mind.

The panwadi gave me a stick, I smelled it, and then reached for the matches, keeping a mask of good living on my face.

Darn my fingers started trembling; the guy gave me a curious look, but did not say anything.I balled my fingers into a fist to steady myself, and made to reach for a light ....then,I started shaking pretty bad, almost shivering.

Darn it Rajan Steady……. you can do it, and you can leave it too!!

But something told me that this time it won’t be that easy, I kept the cigarette down on the counter and stared into the open space for some time. Now the panwadi was staring at me intently, or rather for some curious reason my fingernails.

I returned his gaze and ……..

He shook his head, as I reached for the smoke again, he snatched it and said in Tamil, I won’t give it sir, please go from here"

That firmness……. That ignition…… That anger…… of that guy seemed to stir something in me. He has no stake in my welfare, none indeed.

The moment passed by..........the crack in the wall resealed itself; the demon is still in the cage,

Dong !!

But yeah the cookies remain ......anyone for cookies? Ding dong indeeed :)