MindTrends: One Day There Might be Magic Within !

It was nearing my end at B-school. There were a lot of things unsaid, between us but not in the realm of not knowing. I blurted out, my heart to her in one chat session.

And, the typical female response of “Oh, I never looked at you that way”. popped out.” A little later she says” I knew this was coming a long time back, but I am still surprised it came “(What the heck does someone mean by that?)

For the first time in my life I asked a girl out to spend time with me. She agreed readily, I planned on an early morning trip to the beach to witness sunrise and she was also fine with it.

We made it pretty early to the beach. Neither of us had any sleep the last night. It was a time I could never forget, it was magical.

I had seen her out of her gang, of some people. just about now .She looked very sexy, sitting cross legged on the shore line; with the wind blowing her long hair which quiet did not augur well to a braid dangling at her back.

“Priya”, I mouthed softly.

She was lost!

“Priya”, this time I nudged her gently.

“Yes”, came the barely audible reply

“Dear, I really like your company and I guess we get along pretty well”, I said.

I waited for a response, none was forthcoming, and I pushed on.” Can I call you once you are away from this place?

“Yes of course you can call me, we are friends”, she replied hurriedly.

My heart got cold; the soaring bird of hope was run over by the trampling hammer legs of a million mad elephants, high on toddy.

“Can you give me some time to figure that part out”? , I asked softly.

“Time…. where is time”? She asked, “I am going now, and you don’t know where you would head off with your work, how can we spend time”?

“Do you wish that I be in Chennai?”

“Of course…. nobody has made me smile the way you do!!” she countered with one of her smiles

Something………..warm course inside me. The mad elephants started sobering down and there was a flutter as one broken wing flapped weakly.

The broken bird of hope that was trampled upon brutally, countless number of times dared flutter its wings. I too, hoped that someday there might be magic within.

The early morning rays and the gentle lap of waves together were soothing and enchanting. I seemed to lose control at the sight of her.

I leaned closer to her, and was shaken powerfully by her …smell. She did not use any perfume or deodorant and the smell of her sweat was intoxicating; a hot blooded female smell that made my heart race wild.

Hormones surging all over I leaned closer and placed my hands over her shoulders, she was warm.

The chilly morning breeze, made her warmth all too endearing.

She made no effort to reduce the dangerous proximity, nor did anything to increase it, but just faced the lapping waves.

A gust of breeze, and her t shirt fluttered. I could see her breasts, perfectly round and with fuzzy hair near the nipples. I was seized with a sudden desire to hold her, kiss her and just smell her nice female smell.

But something told me it was wrong. I removed my hand and shifted slightly.

“I would call you daily; I need to hear the sound of your voice”

She did not reply, just stared into the space, uncharacteristically quiet. She was hiding something, and that was ominous.

The queasy feeling that I had about her in the first meeting, came back this time stronger. “Is she really what I think she is”? I thought “A woman with a head, a woman with a heart and the best and mostly missing piece of a backbone connecting the two”

We drove back, and making our way to the campus, I told” It is ok to be scared, “

To which she replied, “I don’t know what to say that except I don’t know…I don’t know anything”.

For the very first time, I saw her reluctance to stand for her own self, her own happiness the first indication of the absence of a backbone.

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