Dharti-Putar !

That was the term with which I was described as recently.

I am narcissist, egotistical, chauvinist male pig and I won’t deny that at all. On the contrary I revel in it. But this term is a source of amusement for me for this came in from the most unlikely source in the most unlikely situation.

My needs are manifesting………… with renewed intensity. I had Noorie, once and I doubt if there is ever going to be anyone like her again, but Bangalore is different. Life here is lived in the ratio of 5:2 or sometimes 6:1 and continuance is not expected.

Everything is a quickie, and we have weekend benefits.

Reference here is drawn to one singular change, Facebook and of course this place where I put all my "mind trends". Got an intimation as to these “trends” seems interesting to someone ultra feminine by nature. I got wheels and the grace of Goddess Lakshmi so “bhavya milaap” is not an issue.

And my ……..oh…….. my, was it a milaap.

We met in one of the usual suspects; a coffee shop which I detest but hey dude it is so un-cool to be anywhere else.

Yakkity yack notwithstanding my eyes rested on the most obvious location of female anatomy. (That is statistically proven as well!!)

She reveled in the silent adulation.

After the silent show reel, but extensive visual exercise the vampire in me............. began the seduction act............. for the ultimate kiss of death.

Words, work well with females, and I have no paucity of them. Fringes of Robert Frost, sometimes Blyton thrown in seemed good enough for a post coffee walk time.

I was asked the predictable question of me being single or it’s contrary. I do not buy or believe in these terms, but something told me that this answers would not go down well with the intellectual image I inadvertently seemed to have projected.

I stopped dead in my tracks, as though I had hit a brick wall when poised to this question. A soliloquy began. Nostalgia lacing heavy in my voice is spun a tail of grief and heart break and the person responsible for all that being me and me alone.

That brief…….. Grief remembrance…….. Gave me……… a very helpless look.(methinks!)

No tears, but the tone was enough to convey that. I did not reach for any physical contact while recounting this tale, in fact it almost seemed that I had forgotten her presence.

Silence greeted me after this performance.

We walked more, and more and I was wondering why I had bought wheels a little bit more I would reach my abode itself.

I felt soft fingers clasp mine, and a powerful strawberry laced perfume smell which was nauseating.

“I had my share too and that bastard was.......just like you"!

Damm there goes a wasted weekend evening, no causality..........for actions........ no fruitful outcome ...........time and resources wasted.

"But, you seem like a true stereotypical man, the one they write ancient Hindi TV serials and movies on....I remember the song which my dad used to play featuring some Dileep Kumar clanging hand bells in a village....."She seemed to be searching for the name....

I replied..."I think you are referring to the film 'Gopi" , and the bhajan "ram chandra kah gaye siya se"....

Yeah exactly that.........you are like him.........you are like a ...she paused and said " dhartiputar “

I laughed!!

A full throat........ guileless laugh

And I said , " Kya baat hai kanya, i guess that is the best compliment you could have given me, for it truly typifies what I believe and live for. I guess I got to thank you...if not for anything else but for this word!!”

She looked at me with a mixture of disdain and pleasure

Suddenly with no warning; I leaned closer and gave her a hug. She tried fighting me, but her heart was not in it, and she relented and gave soft thumps on my back.

She seemed like a very soft pillow, which had strawberry sauce split on it.I never realized my length and strength when as I released her she said " your arms............they are like iron rods"

I let go of her and said.....”Good Night! It was nice meeting you!

“Are you just going to leave at that”? She asked a trifle surprised.

“No I am going to walk you back, put you in some transportation mode and leave”, I replied with a smile.

We began our trek back.

“Dude, I really do not think we can get along as mates, but I guess we can be good friends”, she said.

“Are we talking about friends with benefits”, I asked mischievously.

“You watch Big Bang?!” She asked incredulously.

Yup!!

“I like Wallowitz “she said with a smile.

Needless to say, the return trip seemed faster (thank you Big Bang).

“Can you drop me?”, she asked as we neared the shop.

"That is a 220 CC engine, I have not bought it for a Luna work.I won’t drive slow, so if you ride with me you will have to either clutch me , or the rear handle bars, for if you fall and die I cannot have that on my conscience.............. my life I can play with .....not others"

“Do you take an effort to be rude, or is it natural “.She asked.

I ignored the barb and flicked the starter. Revving the engine I asked, “Where do you live”?

“That is gigantic presumption................. that I am riding with you”, she said with her hands akimbo.

I revved the engine a bit more in response to her statement.

Sighing, she walked ………and sat cross legged on the bike.

 The strawberry smell hit me again and I asked.....

“Do you take an effort to be a fruit or is it natural”?.

She leaned her face on my back and said softly, “Just drive, dharti-putar”.
 

Value

This Sunday, I managed to wiggle out of my presence at the Aero Show.Four days of sweet talk, hustling was the limit for me. I gave a nice reason to my boss” Sir, I need to go for a meal with someone, if not today it has to be tomorrow…..” I trailed off and with a suggestive smile said,” and tomorrow I will be bankrupt…I hope you can understand”.

The clout at this institution is limited for me; I guess it will change if I get some deals which I hope will happen soon. Hence , my boss insisted, I sweet talked further and said” Sir I can give nice reasons that I am sick, have stomach ache, etc etc….but I think we can be mature enough to understand compulsions.”

Finally he relented.

So Sunday morning, I had nothing to do which is a blessed relief. My body was cracked and stiff after driving for 300kms over 4 days and I decided to give myself some massage to relive the aches.

Lathered with some strong smelling oil and barebacked in the sun was good. A warm bath later, I dozed off, heavy with half a liter of milk, cornflakes, bananas, apples some grapes a glass of Soya milk, topped off with some fruit juice.

Waking up, I was again hungry, this time it was pizza hut, so off we went. The bill was 1000 bucks for two people, I paid off, and D remarked,” We knew we were going to be raped before coming here, and I was prepared to enjoy it.But I did not factor that the rape would be replaced by gang rape”.

I shrugged off; at least the food was good for the palette.

We walked back and I suddenly had some desire for the good old, sugar syrup tea of the roadside stalls. So we stood near the hole in the wall, sipping the warm sugar solution with D with his trademark fag, for my company.

I happened to glance at a decrepit old woman on the opposite side of the road. She was mentally challenged and was rummaging through he garbage. Soon another of her type joined her in rummaging. Both of them were filthy, disheveled. The man had a rag of a cloth with the front open, and the woman thankfully had some form of cloth covering her comfortably.

They located something and a fight ensued as to who should take it. A fiery argument ensured, and I could fathom bits of it thanks to the Kannada I was picking up. The woman ruled over the man it seems and came off better in the argument. Dejected the man ambled his way towards the stall, crying and shouting.

Looking at the crowd eating and sipping tea, he thought of trying his luck. He gave a powerful smell, akin to rotting garbage, and this ensured that anyone to whom he walked took back a few paces. This seemed to delight him, and he began going around in circles near ad hoc groups happy with his power of repulsion ( an offshoot of revulsion, which he did not care about).

He came towards us too. I stood rock still, and so did D. 

The mad man had a deep cut running though the side of his cheek, and that was laced with grime.

He was puzzled as to why he did not retreat.

He touched my arm, darn sure that I would revolt if not that at least show some expression of distaste.

I slowly clasped his hands and removed them from my arm. At this gesture of mine he.......... looked up.

He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes and began crying, piteously.

I am neither social servant nor Mother Teresa, but for a minute I too felt pity. I mimicked my glass and asked if he wanted some tea. He nodded eagerly, and motioned towards some rolls lying on the stall.

I raised my eyes towards the stall owner, and he handed one vegetarian roll and some tea to the man. Happy, he began to sip the tea. 

The roll, he did not touch.

Tea done, he picked up the roll and walked over to the other side of the road, where the old lady was seated trying to eat something that was thrown away by fortunate ones.

He sat beside her and broke the tiny vegetarian roll into half, handed the other to the woman. She kept aside the garbage food and began eating the roll as well.

Both were smiling.

The man then walked away, crooning something.

I had blown hundred times the amount which was food for two people for one time. I felt mollified and a little bit ashamed as well. 

I asked D, "What the mad man just did, do you think any of us fortunate types would have done had we been in the same postion.What is the difference between them and us, for all I know the way I drive my bike, I could end with one broken leg and arm, and maybe be like them one day”.

D replied,” A sardar would have, you know their motto right?...Seva karo, that is why they have such huge  bodies , it is to cover their large hearts”.

I laughed heartily.

D blew the smoke way from my face, “Tell me Rajan, do you think sorrow is bad”

"I do not know", I replied

D said, “Well hear me out. Assume you are married, have a kid and she is learning to ride a bicycle. You know he/she has learnt the basics, but she wouldn’t master here fear of falling over unless you allow her to fall and hurt herself ones. You know that you would have to let go of the protective hand of yours, once at least. What will you do?"

“I will let go of my hand if that is the only way for the kid to learn”, I replied.

“And won’t that be hurtful for her, wont that give her sorrow even if it is transient”.

Yes, it would.

“But then the kid learns right, so Rajan sorrow is a great leveler. Sorrow is a great teacher, what you did just now, and what the mad man and woman did just now was learning for them. So do not feel bad or ashamed of it”.

This point I decided to pen this down.

PS – The stall owner did not charge me for the additional tea and vegetarian puff!

How Did Life , Come on Earth?

Move over Darwin and Hawking. Life on earth was not the result of the blue green algae or the tiny probability of preferred selection of universes as proposed by the Big Bang.

Hinduism has the answer.

Now the source of this post  is D. And despite the marvelous tale he had spun for me he has declined his name to be used.

Well suit yourself D.

Now this was a couple of light year ago, when earth was still a virgin planet ,( and by that I mean there was nobody to rape her, specially humans ! ).

Now why where there no humans?

This is because of the inherent blood lust in us. We were busy fighting or common ancestral but even more blood thirstier than us brothers the demons (asuras) in some far off planet.

This fight again had progressed quite long and hard and despite the law of the normal curve it had skewed towards the demons clan. Human survival was questionable and for the preservation of the lineage of humans, wise gurus decided.

They decided akin to the great lord and Moses kind of plan.

Thanks to their Tantric powers and some latent intelligence which humans are famed for, the managed to locate earth. Two superior species were selected to bestow upon earth the gift of human life and were sent under the aegis of a learned sage who was supposed to chaperone the wild hormones in them after they had served their purpose

However they had not factored in probability nor the occurrence of the black swan and they certainly did not know that someone called Murphy ruled supreme even then

Earth was a virgin and thus had a protective coverage as insurance to her virginity, which was the Sheerasagar, or as D said the protective vacuum space.

When the chosen 2 humans passed through this space, the man was rendered impotent and infertile and so was unable to perform his duties as intended.

“Yeah yeah, no wonder we are called the blind faith. You don’t lose your dharma and potency if you travel outside your place of birth”, I retorted to D with sarcasm lacing heavy on my tone.

“Do you know the people who traveled to outer space and lived there for sizable amount of time, came back impotent”, replied D with a smile.

That silenced me. I can’t argue with reason and logic.

Anyways back to the tale.

The sage also suffered the same fate, however decided not to dwell on his misfortunes but began searching for some way around or some jugaad.

I interjected again and said "  Ahem ...........!! D, aren't sages supposed to be celibate?!" .

D replied" No, celibacy is often misconstrued.There is a dharamvasana, and a kaamvasana.I bet you have seen Ekalavaya starring the Bacchan and Saif Khan.Bacchan exhibited dharmavasana there and Saif was a Dharmputra."


D to hai bhai D !

Dignession returns !!

The sage deduced that the Sheerasagar was intended as a cover to protect from humans, but apparently pure animals, could factor in with no love lost for their womb or fertility.

However the Sheerasagar also factored some algorithm which caught and threw exceptions such as forced recruitment, or cross bred species. Added to it was the problem that most of the pure animals set available was such that they were by themselves unable to face the arduous journey to the earth, without any form of force or foul play.

The Sheerasagar coder thought he had covered all hatches to prevent loss of earth’s virginity.

But sages are not known to be intelligent without any reason. 

There apparently is a time when most of the reptiles, ( not mammals ) undertake a form of existence when senses and bodily functions are in standby mode, that is they hibernate. By a little bit of push and prod the set of pure animals which the Sheerasagar algorithm allowed inside earth, could be in induced into a state of such hibernation. This in turn could ensure their safe passage to the earth

The power of intelligence and Tantra reigning supreme, a pure animal (no prizes for guessing, it is the cow – no wonder we call it the gow mata) was impregnated with the seed of humans.

It was then carted off to the earth where it stayed long enough to delver the first human and its decided counterpart to ensure continuous propagation of the human species

As he finished this tale, i asked, “Where do you read such things man? And btw thanks to some conversations with you these days my language has become so chaste, that nobody believes that I am a Madrasi. In fact today I referred to a colleague (a female one ) as “kanya” with no intent of being anything other than ordinary and she reacted so vehemently, but good humorously,

 “Dude , don’t call me a  “kanya” !!!!

D burst out laughing and then dug in his cupboard for some time.

“Here you can start with this”, he said handing me huge leather bound book, which said Geeta Press (it is in Hindi!)

True or False ?!

Is whatever you write true?

This query has been repeated many times in the past few weeks, so much so that I am attempting to answer it here.

The golden answer to this question as many would expect is, “Yes” and “No”. But unfortunately it does not do justice to my desire for clarity so I am going to elaborate a little

There are two kinds of outlets.


Writing about what you felt, and writing what you intend or wished you would feel.

The former will be true, and latter will be graphic necessarily not vice versa. 

Your mind is powerful enough to rationalize any thought you have and if you believe in something strong and long it uncannily turns out to be true.

Everret Two World Theory, (am reading a bit of theoretical physics as well - Hyperspace by Michio Kaku).It essentially says that at every juncture you create an alternate universe. For instance you clicked on one line, what happens if you don’t, then another stream of activities will emerge, and for each action there would be an alternate, hence there exists multiple universes.Or like the branch of a tree universes fork out at every juncture.

When you write about what transpired, it is rational and logical. It is an interpretation of activities in the present universe, the one you live eat and breathe hence inadvertently even without you liking it, you are bound by its rules.

However when you write fiction you are free to explore alternate universes and it is something like the dream world as in case of Inception. Time was the filter which was amplified at each stage of dream…..in geometric proportion.

Similar is the case with alternate universes but the factor that amplifies is crumbling of structure (or so Methinks!)

As you begin to think about something that you intended to have happened, or should have happened, the structure of the present universe slowly begins to crumble down.

When you assume an offshoot of an assumed action, the rate of rule relaxation begins to increase, hence the existence of graphic description to compensate for the lack of logic and reason.

Consider it as a 2 way matrix, graphical vs. rational(X Axis) and real vs. fiction or fantasy(Y Axis).4 squares to fill in and "rational real" square is 1 and so is the "graphic fiction" one the remaining of course are zero.

For example just assume early morning you pick your brush and start with brushing in the usual direction (your teeth of course!).However for a minute revere the hand you hold the brush and the direction in which you normally brush.

 It would be for starters slow, for you mind is registering a new activity however that is on a purely cognitive level.

At the same time you may start thinking or concentrate more on the task in hand (brushing in this case) and be reminded of certain occurrences which ordinary and normal by everyday standards but suddenly would seem more amplified.

So what is more graphic? And by the same analogy what is true and what is false?

PS - I got to mention D here...And it is verbatim “Rajan........... that is a great insight I will reverse directions!!