Men will be Men........ Indeed !

We had some exotic female specimens at our mess, it happens often cause some research or the other often seems to be going around.Never mind that the statistics don't change on the poverty or the per ca-pita income, research should continue !

My colleague's eyes roved over one............ anatomically well ........correct specimen for a time slightly longer than what could be considered a polite and acknowledging glimpse.I gave him a grin and he returned back." That sure does brighten up a day in Chennai " he replied to my grin.I asked him,"pal mere sight is of no use, your are not Joy Keats(A thing of beauty is a joy forever fame),what happens after that"

To this he replied," It isn't about the sight, it is more about the fact that we are conditioned or fabricated that way.Males on an average think about sex and associated activities every 7 odd seconds.Contrast that with females who do it only about once a minute. (check the numbers, they may not be accurate but would augur well for comparison sake)."

Now isn't that piece of information a solace for many ...ahem heartbroken or should I say.... rebuffed males ?!

It is uncanny what dinner table conversations can throw up :)

It is a Funny Language Indeed !

I had this experience during my flying visit to my home before entering into the big bad world of office. My father had lined up a list of activities to be done in my brief four day visit” Update the pass book, close the loan account, fix the loan EMIs, check the insurance details, make your voter card, update your passport”

Hooha, it made me wonder as to why Nikelani does not speed up with the UID thing, would have at least made my holidays lazier.

Anyways I couldn’t argue with reason, so one day I had to go to the election office. Delhi babudom at its peek greeted me. I was happy; it was different from Chennai, the cheerful epithets(a welcome differnce from machan and rascal !!) , and the lazy demeanor. My happiness was soon to be tested; I slid across my Driving License (DL) across the verification counter.

This won’t do, this is not a valid photo identity. I was surprised, the DL had served me well during most of my travels if he was referring to the photo on the DL then I cant help it, I have aged like anyone else and I told him so.

" ना जी आपका ये कार्ड टाइप है,  मैं भी गज़ाबाद का हूँ और वहां तो कागज़ का बनता है ", and he proceeded to show me his DL.I told him that they had switched to laminated cards, but he said "जी जिस बारे मैं मुझे नहीं पता मैं उसको कैसे वेरिफ्य करून,  आप बताइए ? Logic irrefutable indeed :)

I wanted to land a choice comment on his lack of general knowledge, but the laws of babudom flashed in my eyes. I asked him what could be done, and he said to get any other id, thankfully my passport was handy and I slid it across, work done.

In now entered, at the same counter uncle ji aunty ji and their minted engineer back from his first trip to US. All staring at the babudom of Delhi with bewilderment.The uncle went to the first counter with a form and was returned a " " पहेल वेरिफ्य करा लो " .directive in a reasonably polite tone by Delhi standards. Uncle ji was miffed, muttering in English about the lack of direction, courtesies and so on he went to the second counter. Trouble was the verification was  third counter which was teeming with people, lots of queues had formed, uncle picked up one which looked straight.

After some time, he landed close to the window and showed his forms, and started in typical cultured south Indian English." लड़का आया है क्या " ? “ uncle ji couldn’t understand and the third time the babu shouted .

Uncle ji had enough he proceeded to give a tongue lashing in English and the babu just kept the forms leaned close to the window and said " सुनो जी उम्र का लिहाज़ कर रहा हूँ , एक बारी मैं आप बात समझ नहीं रहें हैं और दूर यह अंग्रेजी मैं गिट पिट बंद करो हम्मे और भी काम हैं"

It was fun. Madrasi babu dilli main !!

I had a beard about a week old so my lineage wasn’t entirely visible. A local standing next to me leaned across and said " यह मद्रासी बड़े अजीब होते हैं सब अंग्रेजी मैं ही बोलते हैं और उनकी मद्रासी भासाह बड़ी ही कटुक सी होती है, ससुरी कुछ सज्मझ ही नहीं आती"

Ahh irony of it, that made me smile, smile nice indeed. I nodded my head and after collecting my card went home and narrated the same incident to my mother. She had a hearty laugh too and said” ok Mr Kale madrasi, have your fulkas, going to be the last you see them for a couple more months to come.”

True indeed and I proceed with gusto.

Pretty Girl Syndrome - The Unity in Animosity

Isn’t that a mouthful?! You would expect that I try justifying that, maybe relating an anecdote (fabricated or otherwise!)

Well I am about to do just that. This is called the pretty girl syndrome. It occurs when your are in the company of some extremely anatomically proportioned girl(s) (on a generic note females) and who take pride in displaying their curves. Assume you are roaming around in a market place or so, and you catch site of a competitive specimen.

At that point you can feel the tremors. Just wait and you would end up hearing comments like ”look how gawdy her dress is, isn’t she showing a bit too much of an attitude, Oh man look at the shameless gawkers all around the female, she seems to be  enjoying all of it ….bits and pieces of the above sentiment , at varying intervals of time.

Pretty females cannot tolerate another one of their type; they are united in their animosity towards their kind. I guess it must be some remnant of the ancient primeval emotion which springs from the wild side within the brains (yes there is one part of the human brain that regulates primeval desires such as hunger, sex, if you have ever snorted you would know!). This remnant of the emotion may be due to the fact that the females sense a threat to their own importance/existence, and somehow link it up with the possible loss of their mate (well a figure of speaking!!) protection.

Now consider the same situation, however replace the competitive females’ specimen with a male one and try and guess the reaction , of both the participant. To make it interesting , try extending the same analogy, as above :) :)

Just an observation, feminists please don’t get up in arms against me!

Earn to Burn or The Other Way Around ?

The former rarely holds true, the latter is mostly the norm. Think of it this way, most of the people are trying very hard to create cobwebs to trap them in. And once they are caught in the cobweb of their own making they struggle to get out.

I am no different (trying hard to create my web, but I am also putting in a secret escape passage!), just one from the crowd. But the way you perceive money changes, over time. I remember the first time I got a pay cheques I was so darned happy, I walked my family into a 5 star hotel, and my mother had a look at the menu card " 500 bucks for a dhal, I am not eating here and it stinks of burning flesh (Non Veg), I am out" She looked at me and the look on the face meant there was no chance for argument. My father and I meekly followed her out, my brother meanwhile wanted to look at 5 star restrooms, so was not at the table. Only when we walked out did we realize that he was still in. We waited outside and he walks out after some time and says laughingly," I asked the guard where did you go and he said, they ran away after seeing the menu”. Well, true partly.

Time passed and the principle of diminishing marginal utility kicked in, succeeding amounts were just a statistic on the account and the pleasure derived from each paisa spent as each paisa earned went down. But there was another kick which came in, the pleasure of earning money, not spending it, but earning it. It gave an ego boost.

So in essence there seems to be a cycle, first you seem to derive pleasure from blowing money, and that normally occurs when you start out; the amounts are well, low. As the incoming goes up, the propensity for it to go out seems to reduce and sometimes the Midas effect kicks in.

As I explained this to a colleague, he laughed out and said, “It is kind of true, for some people I know, but you know for me it has always been proportional :) Great going pal!!