Quote/Unquote - Ver 2

These seem to have touched a chord !

The definition of a one liner:

1. Said without much thought that is it is .... Impromptu , instantaneous....
   
2. Sounds intelligent 
3. Incomprehensible to self and now it seems to others too ( Ok Kurian sir, I get it.....the joke is on me  )

Using those filters here some one liners !!

Sometimes life feels like a ride on a Ferris wheel, you go up and up, you cover a lot of distance but in the end you come back down and the net displacement is zero ! 

God gave us two ears and one mouth...some people spend their entire lives rejecting his superior judgment.

Hope & passion are the prerequisites of good living, hope gives the power to endure and passion the reason to hope ! 


Indians keep sex on their mind and work on their dick .................so they fuck up their work, Americans on the other hand keep work on their mind ...........and sex on their dick.......... so they fuck ............what should ideally be fucked !! (This one is by Nikhil Gupta, and is translated from Hindi)

Power ultimately flows from the barrel of a gun, not the person holding it, nor the finger squeezing it..but from the humble nondescript tube of iron.

" Who would you prefer to marry " , went the question to a PYT(pretty young thing , but of course!) ' A person with brains or one with money,assuming here that both are mutually exclusive" ? PYT replies "Of course one with money because I have enough brains...!!! "

Never force anyone....... for when you do it ..it hurts and the outcome isn't great either...case in point shit.(constipation, Ignoramus !! )

There are just three things free in life, Mother's love , death and free/unsolicited advice...( yea so true, 65+ posts and counting here)

Sometimes it is necessary for the lion to roar to remind the jackal of its fear (Afghan saying taken from Shantaram)

It is all about gestures..........and symbols...words are the last resort measure to express something which cannot be understood.

Vices maketh a man, else there is no difference between you and an animal , they also eat, shit and do their own work ,  (fag time gyaan , by a colleague !)


Females start late but run longer.... real long !! ( by someone who came in recently from his honeymoon ! )

Unquote :) !!

City Lights.......... of Mumbai, Delhi & Chennai

Each city has its pulse, a feel, which is distinct from others. Staying in a place for small times like a tourist and moving around, that feel, that essence hits you hard each time. It is akin to the human sense of smell; sharp, pronounced and short lived. Many times you would have walked into a room only to be greeted by the smell of warm Sulphide (Ye Ignoramus ....somebody obviously shat!!), whilst others are blissfully unaware.

You walk into Delhi airport or even NDLS you see Mr. Ego. 

Like the golden halo on the heads of saints, Delhi has its ego, as an alternative identity, an aura around its people. “Mine is bigger than yours” sentiment is Delhi’s patent right (I am not talking about cell phones here; I am talking about just everything else other than that!). It is the place where people get cars to a gym barely two minutes walk away , because you know it isn’t about the gym or working out, it is about the fact that I have a car and I can afford an AC gym. I have it then I flaunt it, well, good and understandable but Delhi says I will flaunt it even if I don’t have it.

There is a permanent scowl on the face, and fuses are always near the burning point. At Delhi people gossip around, with intent to dissect the hurt, the sorrow. They are more interested in knowing the sadness that engulfs the others, with some kind of a weary hope that it may be more than what one has, that is it may be minuscule as compared to the giant demons he is accustomed to.

This contrast is very pronounced if you enter Delhi from Chennai or the land of the madrasis.

Politeness here is what sets people apart and I guess this word isn’t in any Delhites dictionary. Deference and simplicity, again opposites of ego are much visible in the Manhattan of India. However, sometimes this is suffocating; you need some invectives in daily life, to make it more interesting more let’s say alive.

As my friends often put it, “बहनचोद गाली थोड़े ही है..... बहनचोद तो प्यार है ( हाँ बेतिचोद इतना पयार सही नहीं है  !) ”.

A hardcore Funjabi, who has been holed in Chennai for nearly two years calls me up  and all he wanted was to abuse to his heart’s content.” Rajan, I can’t use these words here man, it is just not possible. Somebody nicked my car yesterday and even before I could use any nice terms, the uncle steeped out and said a guileless sorry. I just couldn’t do anything after that, I tried a gruff expression but my heart was not in it, I also smiled and waved him away”.

Coming now to Mumbai.The pulse of Mumbai isn’t its resilience, or its ‘spirit’ as is often depicted. Nor is it the multitudes that throng the local trains governed by the subtle laws of human compression that allow for effective transportation.


It is the indifference that sets this place apart. At Delhi people are interested in your sorrow, Chennai people are guileless, but Mumbai people …….don’t give a damm.

The best example that I can see, is the one that is applicable in many settings, sexism.

Mumbai has good females, which when walk by automatically exercise your eyeballs even if it’s for a fraction of a second. Alas, this sentiment is not visible in people here. Maybe it’s the problem of plenty, or maybe it’s my inherent nymphomaniacism, but I suspect it is more to do with the running around which mumbaikers are accustomed to that has dulled their senses.

I was meeting a friend in for dinner, at some stop near Andheri. The first thing that you notice is the nature of the market place. All shops are adorned, bedecked and doing roaring business, the only hitch being that it was close to 11 in the night.


" Boy, the festive season sure is catching up " , I remarked.


" What festive season, this place is always like this, till about 12 in the night " ,  came the weary reply of my friend.

You are open till 12 in the night and you start by morning again there is  no time at all, no time to gossip, no time to loiter and certainly none to stare. Senses are not heightened, nor are they extinct they are just dulled. You nicked my car I don’t have time to sit and fight with you (Delhi), nor apologize to you (Chennai), I just run, and I run fast, mentally booking a slot the weekend to do the repairs.

It’s funny how you think about this gyaan.It stuck me during the return trip from Dadar, when I was squashed in a corner, and staring at the stained, sign on the carriage which said “To seat ; -84”.Thankfully our Indian engineers while designing the carriage had incorporated a decent Factor of Safety !

To wrap up...these are all just nuances, nothing is good or bad. It is the differences that make travel enjoyable and it is the differences that characterize us...unite us.

Wish you all a Shubh Dipavali ! 

PS – As I was typing this away my sister glanced by and said” If you use the filters of regionalism to divide, then Mr Genius, what are you ........a Delhi brat............ a Madrasi champu or.......... a Mumbai dude…??? “.It got me thinking and before I could respond then she remarked rather thoughtfully” You are nothing, not even a hybrid………..you are just weird but ……..nicely weird”

Surpise ... Surpise !!

My throat is parched, and my lips are dry. This isn’t a desert safari but rather a trip from Bangalore to Mumbai …..A 19 hr bus journey……… and Volvo or otherwise, it is tiring. 

And I am afraid to drink water…. for then I would need to pee, and for peeing I really can’t hang my fly out of a window in a bus that is doing close to eighty kilometers to the hour.(come to think of it the windows are sealed so........ !!!)

This time around it is yet again trip to Mumbai. I do not have the time nor the inclination to go back home..... to Delhi. I had just been there a month back and I don’t miss anything as of now.

I dare not make a phone call to anyone out in Mumbai… because I am sure they would find out that something is amiss!!

Darn the element of surprise!!

Finally I made it to the apartment block, my sister had her exams going on and I remembered she had to be out early today, which suited me well, as I was there pretty early.

“Good morning!!” incidentally it was Swetha who picked the call.” How come you are up so soon”?

“I am always up soon” I said.

“Yes …but not on a Sunday”, she countered; this was heading into dangerous territory.

Clang…as the lift shut I said…………“ I can’t hear you “and distanced the headpiece from me.

“ Hello….hello….”  rang her voice …the lady in the lift was giving me a puzzled look as the “hello”  was well audible and resonating in the small confines of the lift. I just stared at the cell with a smile on my face.

In I punched the 5 button to reach to her floor.

Tring!!

As she opened the door, I said “Can you hear me now?”

And gave her a hug, she had shrunk sizeably, she had always been small but now she appeared frail. I got the feel that I was hugging my grandma; she had indeed lost a lot of weight in her recent sick tenure.

In came my aunt from the kitchen, “I knew it….. recently joined or not, you would be back for Dipavali”

“Of course that is the only festival we all celebrate...Royally and I just can’t miss it can I”?

“So they gave you off…???

“What is there to give" I said, "I just told them that I am taking the week off”

“And they agreed? …..

Always the element of surprise and trepidation, she seemed to be frightened that I may have resigned yet again.

“Yep and don’t worry it sounded as if it was their brilliant idea of me taking the week off”

My attention then went to their rooms. The house was a mess, there were just too many things lying around, I raised an eyebrow and my aunt said” OK, now don’t get irritated, I had pulled out everything and now need to clean it, I always do it at this time of the year”.

Let’s do it now! I said.

First eat, she said pleadingly

No first clean….I said resolutely. I had been hungry since 12 hours; a couple more wouldn’t really make much difference.

An hour later …and two bulging plastic bags filled with stuff ranging from an old TV remote control; to a happy birthday greeting card…it was looking habitable.

And while I am typing this away, my dear sister is out with her non stop chatter. This she does with characteristic precision and sometimes without warning she would start giggling uncontrollably.

Bang on target it has started….

This is good!!  For I have the railroad snores of my uncle on the left and the silly girlie giggle of my sister to the right and my aunts scathing but well humored comments floating somewhere in between conversations and that too in the wee hours of the morning that is at 2 in the morning.

Why do we Love un-real Reality Shows?

Move over reality shows now we have reality nightmares. For instance we have screeching females in a graveyard bathed in a greenish hue (MTV, I got a fright today morning when some hyper woman was screaming “Ranvijay” in a early morning promotion)

We also have something called "Buddies"  where the same buddies are plotting with and against others on  how to win over females (Channel V) and “dates" out on with a gay specimen of a host (Again V)

Roadies were the tipping point in entertainment. Never before was profanity so fashionable, Raghuram and his bald pate, and the faulty beepers have made everyone aware of the 'chods" and all. Aggression became cool and profanity the evidence of attitude (I guess the intention is the "cool dude", one but I could never understand what a "dude" means ….enlighten anyone please!!)

Funnily as I rant on the depth of emotions and reality in these so called "reality shows”, I am looking forward to watching them too.

The advertised and exaggerated fallibility & weakness of participants..... gives me an inflated sense of understanding of my limited strengths.

As in Shakespeare we had Orlando who was weeping besides a river , “ Why do you weep here, the river already has so much water, a little more won’t make any difference(principle of diminishing marginal utility huh Shakespeare?!).

In the same vein......... weaknesses I have aplenty, I don’t want to be reminded of them, but it does no bad to be reminded of my strengths.

 I can relate a nice incident which happened over last week over a meal with a new acquaintance. That guy is currently lady hunting to start building his proverbial nest and he is a hot commodity in the marriage-place.25 it seems is the primary meetings he has had........ and the funnel rate is only 2.

He says, “ Rajan I believe the anatomically well proportioned female always prefers the not so ideal specimen of masculinity……….I  believe it is because it gives them an inflated sense of understanding of their virtues(real and perceived)!! , and also this is true the other way around( that was a wicked inference pal …very wicked..good luck with the other 2 ...you will need it ..it seems ! )

 It is the same thought that has propelled Rakhi Sawant has the queen of reality shows and Raghuram to run roadies for seven seasons, and Ranvijay to launch a girl’s night out a.k.a phategi

In JWT terms, the discovery that propelled launch of reality shows and ensured their success could be summarized as “Humans have always found it easy to bond over grief and that is weird. Grief and sadness are the glue to friendship or for that matter relationships.